5/21/11

How does this short literature review look so far?

How does this short literature review look so far?I am writing on causes and prevention of obesity. A lit review. Anything you see that is wrong, grammatically, sentence structure wise or just anything please let me know. I am only half way done.


Obesity is one of the biggest, if not the biggest health problem in America. It affects all genders and all ages, and while genetics play a roll in causing obesity, so do unhealthy diets, physical inactivity and depressed income. While much research is being done on the prevention of obesity, the steady increase of this health condition in the U.S over the past two decades has made it an epidemic that remains a challenge to health professionals as well as a threat to the lives of the people affected. Studies show that obesity diminishes health and shortens life spans. There are no easy solutions but, there are steps one can take to lose weight and reduce the chances of becoming overweight and obese.

American society and the peoples' lack of self responsibility are both part of the reason why the obesity rates are so high in the United States. Fast food and foods that are high in fat and sugar are being aggressively marketed. Studies show that from the 1980's leading to the twenty-first century sales of fast-food restaurants have substantially increased. (Greenbalt). The busy lifestyles in America are causing people not to be nearly as physically active as they should be. Schools are cutting back on physical education and recess time, in favor of academics. (denise). Research has also shown that there is a direct correlation between obesity and people of low income. (Drewnowski, darmon).


The marketing and promotion of unhealthy foods all over TV, video games and websites has been a contributor in demand increases for the specific foods or drinks. Food products that are specifically shown to a younger audience are usually high in sugar, sodium, or fat. (Mantel). Research done at Yale University has shown that kids who spend three hours or more a day watching TV will see around 10,000 commercials for fast food a year. (denise). However, in 2006, steps in reducing advertising of unhealthy products were taken. Coca Cola, Hershey's, Cadbury and Mars teamed up with the Council of Better Business Bureaus to launch the Children's Food and Beverage Advertising Imitative and promised to market and advertise products of higher nutritional quality. Billions of dollars were spent on this change of advertising and putting together public service announcements. Researchers from University of Illinois, Chicago found that advertising for sweet products dramatically decreased. However, Mantel's Analysis fails to discuss junk food advertisement aimed at grown folks and how it affects them.

and_y_knot
Ok, I promise I'll read the rest and add to my answer, but the first sentence!! Obesity...the biggest...pun intended????/

ADDED: It reads nicely and is very rational and thorough. The only changes I would make in that regard are that I would replace the word "kids" with "children" because your tone is scholarly, not informal, and in the opening sentence of the third para, change "has" to "have".

Content-wise, I found myself asking questions on a much smaller scale than societal/industrial, becasue so much about this epidemic appears to be counter-intuitive.. For example, what does one actually GET from sugar and fat that overrides one's knowledge? Why is low income a factor, when overprocessed foods are so expensive? Is what is often ascribed to "laziness" reallly a manifestation of the loss of hope? Isn't it ironic that "more busy" produces "less active"?

What do you think? Answer below! Discover the facts about obesity , including its most common causes, the effects on health and steps you can take to lose weight.  Your Online Source for Credible Health Information.
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